Last week I went out for one of the most delicious meals I can remember in a long time. But it wasn’t just the food itself that made it such a memorable event. It was also my ability to really sense the tastes, aromas, sensations and feelings the food aroused that made the big difference to my experience. And it reminded me that when you’re able to tune in with all your senses, experiences become more pleasurable, intense and memorable.
This basic, but often forgotten fact can be applied in all sorts of areas – and it’s just as true for, yep, you guessed it, your sex life! Being fully present, aware and tuned in can work wonders, but it’s something that can often be hard to do. We’re constantly juggling a million tasks, trying to do to much at once, rather than sitting quietly and dealing with what’s going on in our heads. So by grounding us in the ‘now’, meditation can prove a useful tool for heightening awareness.
Meditation has been around for centuries – but you may not have tried this particular approach before. It’s a body-based meditation designed for us Westerners, who find it difficult to get out of our heads. Dynamic meditations can be powerful, intense and cathartic experiences. And while you might feel rather silly doing it, don’t forget that silliness can free us from feeling too grown-up and self-important. So see how it feels to play and be childlike. You might be surprised by how much you enjoy it.
Here’s what to do:
First, stand in an open, quiet space and close your eyes. Allow 5 to 15 minutes for each stage.
Step 1: Close your eyes and start to shake. Shake your hands, arms, legs, belly, head and face, every part of your body as much as you can. You might find that the shaking begins to happen on its own. Start to make sounds, speak gibberish, say ‘blah blah blah’ over and over or make up your own language. Allow whatever wants to come out of your mouth to come out.
Step 2: Dance around the room! But don’t do it self-consciously, or like you would on a podium at a nightclub! It doesn’t matter how you look. Just move however your body wants to move. Then after a few minutes, begin whirling around the room, in one direction and then the other. Remember that 70s TV show, Wonder Woman, where Lynda Carter did a cool spin around whenever she needed to change into superhero mode? That’s what you’re aiming for – a constant, steady twirl on the spot. Keep your eyes open slightly but unfocused. Start slowly, then speed up, and when you start feeling dizzy, slow down and reverse direction. Less is more with the whirling, don’t overdo it!
Step 3: Sit or lie down and be still. Focus on your heartbeat and breathe.
This is a great way to help release any negative energy, quiet the mind and get energy flowing through the body. You might notice more feeling in your hands and arms, or that parts of your body feel lighter and more awake. Whatever the effects, this state of heightened awareness is the perfect appetiser for more intense and enjoyable sex. Give it a whirl!