We’ve all been there.  In the early stages of relationship, we just can’t get enough of one another.  Long conversations late into the night, early mornings together.  It’s a beautiful, magical time.  And then, somewhere along the way, a bit of tension starts to enter the picture.  We might start to get a bit snappy, a bit irritable at things that never even caught our attention before.  Little disputes can pop up, things that, if we had enough space and clarity, would never be enough to cause conflict.  Little by little, it becomes harder to stay in that space of euphoric connection that seemed inexhaustible in the beginning.

What happened?  Has the magic slipped away?  Limited shelf life for the golden moments?

Not really.  The bare truth is that we all need personal time to get centered and clear.  To rest the mind, come back to balance, and be in the space where we can bring the best of ourselves into any interaction.  It’s easy to forget this when we’re in that space of excitement about a new connection, but it’s a basic human need.  And knowing that can make the difference between a lasting, fulfilling relationship and one that becomes stale and confining despite our best efforts and sincerest desires to the contrary.

When we spend time with others, we tune in to them energetically.  Our fields become linked and we synch our vibrations.  We create a space between us that is different from the one we create for ourselves.  And this is a beautiful thing.  It’s connection, pure and simple.  This connection is what makes life exciting, juicy, delicious, and really worth living.  But the fact remains that it’s a different space than we have learned to navigate on our own.

By making it a point, even in those really beautiful and exciting early moments of a new connection, to take a bit of time for ourselves, we give ourselves a chance to occupy our own energy field.  Even a walk alone or a ten-minute space of personal time can let us tune in to the subtleties of our field.  Our focus comes back to center and we start to feel all those little things that might need attention in the moment.  Demands of the body, little emotional wobbles or thoughts that have come up, but haven’t had the chance to fully surface.  This time lets us take stock and listen to where we are and what’s happening for us in the moment.  To de-stress and sort out any of the loose ends that have accumulated along the way.

Personal time is essential for a healthy and lasting relationship, but it doesn’t end there.  The demands of life often keep us running.  From work to home, to the things that we have to sort out in order to keep things running, to the evenings out for fun.  One thing can lead to another, and over time, we get exhausted without even realising why.  With so many things claiming our urgent attention, a little time alone can seem unimportant.  But that lets all sort of things get lost in the mix.

Truth be told, having a bit of peaceful time alone each day is as important as exercising.  As having a healthy diet or good sleeping habits.  We can survive without it.  And even do really well—for a little while.  But before too long, the lack starts to catch up with us and we get a bit off.  We start to let things slip, or become distracted, irritable, stressed, or just generally less able to bring the best part of ourselves forward.  In any aspect of life.

So take a chance to stop and smell the roses.  Take a walk, have a few minutes of quiet contemplation, or just lay down in your own space for a moment.  See what happens when you make it a point to have a daily check in time.  How does your quality of connection improve?  What points of gratitude or clarity drop in when you create space for them?  It’s amazing how much a few moments alone can improve every connection in our lives.

Blessings and Light.