I saw the most hysterical movie at the cinema the other day, appropriately entitled ‘Hysteria’. I heartily recommend you go and see it. Set in Victorian England, it charts the invention of the first vibrator by a physician treating women diagnosed with ‘hysteria’. The doctor, played by the rather handsome Hugh Dancy, becomes an expert in the clinical treatment of women through masturbation, helping them to relive the boredom, frustration and repression they feel, trapped in their lives in a man’s world.

Played as a comedy of errors, this is a time when the telephone has just been invented, the suffragette movement is building steam and ‘hysteria’ is the female plague of the moment. The term covered symptoms as diverse as nymphomania, melancholia and all kinds of erratic behaviour, and while it’s a serious subject, it’s handled with much humour.

This is a fascinating look at the birth of the world’d most popular sex toy, adapted, as it was from a motor powered feather duster (really!). There are some hilarious scenes, such as when the prototype is first trialled on Molly the Lolly, the household’s ex-hooker turned maid. And as for the opera singer who’s ‘too sad to sing’, well you can just imagine the results when the earth finally moves for her in the doctor’s treatment room!

Its charm lies in the way it gently ridicules the repression and double standards of the Victorian era, and the prudishness and small-mindedness of the judicial and medical systems around at the time. It’s also a great lesson in showing how far women have come (no pun intended!) since the days of gender inequality, when so little was understood about female sexuality.

I was also reminded of the healing power of the work I do, being involved this very area myself. It’s never been more clear to me how touch, pleasure and bliss can allow us to transcend the everyday, release pain and frustration and heal ourselves on every level. Go and see this fabulous romp and enjoy an eye-opening exploration of our most powerful means of transformation!

‘Energy’. It’s a word that’s often thrown around… but how much do most of us really understand about the concept? Well, in Tantra, energy is more than just an idea – it’s actually a physical force that can be harnessed, played with, moved around the body.

If you think about it, everything is energy. Each living thing in the universe is made up of atoms and molecules, those tiny particles that are the building blocks of life. This vibrating ‘sea’ of energy is all around us and within us, connecting us to each other and to everything. But we’re not just helplessly entangled in it – we can actually influence and change the energy field around us.

Here’s a quick exercise to help illustrate. Rub your hands together as hard and quickly as you can for 10 to 20 seconds, then hold them together so your palms are almost, but not quite touching. You should feel some heat and tingling, and you may even feel a kind of force field between your hands, like they’re magnetised. What’s happened is you’ve created a small electrical charge of energy in your hands using friction.

This ‘charge’ can be redirected to another part of the body. Rub your hands together again, but this time place them on your heart, breathe deeply and feel that energy enter your chest. Does your heart feel warmer or more open? Maybe you feel a little more connected to your emotions. You’ve just created and moved energy around the body, and Tantra teaches many methods like this to create, build and transfer energy from one place to another.

When energy circulates freely through the body, we’re at our happiest and healthiest. We also feel most connected – to ourselves, the people in our lives and the world around us. But when energy’s blocked, we feel lifeless and exhausted. Of course, these feelings can be caused by other things – but there’s also often a blockage in the flow of life force energy.

Try this body scan to find where energy might be stuck. Close your eyes and focus on your body. Which parts can you feel most clearly? Your arms and legs? Belly? Toes? Genitals? Shoulders? Jaw? Now tune in to which parts feel a bit more vague and hard to read. Perhaps these are areas where energy is trapped or sluggish and in need of work. And that’s where a session with me can be really helpful.

I was watching Ghost the other day, and during a particularly passionate kissing scene, I noticed that both actors had their eyes shut. It started me thinking about how most people close their eyes when kissing. And as for sex, well, how often can you recall having your eyes open at the moment of orgasm? Yep, and you’re not alone – for most of us, our eyes are more likely to be rolling back in our heads than focused outward.

‘So what’, you might ask. Well, this notion of closing your eyes during key intimate moments actually disconnects you from your partner. We often (but not always) close our eyes to give free reign to those sexual fantasies in our minds, helping us to build momentum towards climax. But in doing so, we’re subconsciously choosing a ‘solo’ experience over a shared one, and denying ourselves the opportunity to strengthen our connection and truly be ‘in the moment’.

So, here’s a suggestion. Next time you kiss, or make love with a partner, try keeping your eyes open, and see what happens. You can even experiment with focusing your attention more often and more intently on their left eye, as this is the eye that is thought to be more receptive to emotions. There’s no need to go overboard though – remember, you’re gazing with love and adoration, rather than with the unblinking stare of a serial killer! Make it feel natural and warm and notice the difference in the quality of your experience together.

Hopefully you’ll find that holding eye contact like this creates greater intimacy and intensity, enabling you to share your experience, rather than disappearing off into fantasy-land. You can even try it outside the bedroom, with friends, family and even the people you meet during your day, to help you connect on a deeper level and live more consciously and in the moment – which is, after all, what we’re here to practice.