The Big "O"

In my work I often talk about ejaculation and orgasm – but you might be surprised to find out there’s actually a big difference between the two. You’ve probably found out for yourself that orgasm can be one of the most intense and satisfying of experiences. But interestingly, science has recently discovered that orgasm takes place mainly in the brain, as opposed to ejaculation, which is just a reflex in a localised area.

For men at least, ejaculation can drain energy, especially if it happens more than a couple of times a week. Remember that sleepy feeling you often get afterwards, and you can understand why many athletes abstain from sex the night before a big match or event!

Repeated and regular ejaculation can deplete the body of vitality, especially bearing in mind the bioelectrical energy that circulates through every cell of our bodies. Much of this energy is trapped in our lower chakras, the areas responsible for sexual functioning – and it leaves the body during ejaculation. But if you can learn to circulate this energetic charge and ‘ride the waves’ of orgasmic energy without ejaculating, you can experience much longer and more intense full body orgasms.

You might already know this practice as ‘edging’. It basically involves bringing yourself close to, but not over the point of no return, then halting stimulation for up to 20 seconds to allow the urge to come to subside. At the same time, you contract your pelvic floor to pull the ‘charge’ of energy you’ve built up inside the body. To help delay ejaculation, pull gently on your balls or squeeze around the base of the head of the penis. Remember to breathe deeply into the belly to help the energy move upwards.

Repeat this process regularly and over time you’ll find your arousal levels rise to higher and higher peaks of pleasure, which you’ll start to feel through your whole body instead of just in the genitals. After you’ve peaked several times without ejaculating, stop here and notice how you feel. You might feel heat, or a tingling, buzzing sensation, you might feel highly energised or just very peaceful.

Experiment with this technique, and experience how different it feels to eventually ejaculate, compared to avoiding ejaculation altogether. You may well find that by stopping ejaculation except on special occasions, you feel more alive and joyous than ever!

And in those moments where you allow yourself to really let go, you could even discover that Holy Grail, the fabled male multiple orgasm!