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Your Imperfections Make You Beautiful

Mar 302016


Ok. All you people with the perfect body, teeth, hair, everybody who’s absolutely perfect in every way, raise your hands. Hmm… Room got a bit quiet on that one. Let’s face it. We all have things about ourselves that we’re critical about. There’s always room to improve our physique, our image, our dental work, or our pay cheque. It’s easier for most of us, when we look in the mirror, to focus on the things we don’t accept than the things that we’re comfortable with. And we figure that others will be just as critical of us as we are of ourselves. But the truth is, it’s our imperfections that make us who we are. They make us beautiful.

Who doesn’t want to be comfortable in their own bodies? And how many of us truly are? We might believe that as soon as we get in shape, as soon as we get the raise, the better job, the next surgery, the diet that finally works, then we can feel comfortable with ourselves. And then others will accept us. But it doesn’t really work that way. The most powerful thing we can do to gain acceptance from others is to start accepting ourselves. You are beautiful. Exactly as you are. You think you’re too fat? Too skinny? Not enough here or too much there? You think your hair should be curly when it’s straight, straight when it’s curly? Blondes have more fun? Brunettes are taken more seriously? These are all just stories that we tell ourselves. And they have no more power over our lives than we give them.

Sometimes people will tell me that they can’t come for a massage until they’ve lost weight. Because they don’t feel good about themselves. The truth is that touch is healing. Receiving a massage helps you to feel better about yourself. And once you do, you have so much more energy to do other things in your life that strengthen the energy of self-acceptance and confidence. Accept yourself. Let yourself be exactly as you are, and see how beautiful you are right now.

The same goes for other ways that we feel we fall short of perfection. Many women who have experienced mastectomies deprive themselves of the beauty and healing power of touch because they feel incomplete or because they judge their own bodies. To you especially, I want to remind you to love and accept yourself. Massage can be especially healing in these cases, because it helps our esteem and self-respect to return. Naturally, just by sharing human contact.

The same goes for relationships. Who out there wants a perfect, airbrushed partner? Cookie-cutter smile, magazine body? We truly crave someone real. Someone that we can interact sincerely and authentically with. None of us is perfect, and if we look at the idea of perfection, none of us would really want to be. Our flaws make us unique, distinct, and individual. Our little imperfections make us the beautiful people we are. And the more you can accept, love, and respect yourself, the more you’ll receive acceptance, love, and respect from others. Open up—see your own beauty, and allow others to see it as well.

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Touch Tells it All

Mar 012016
The Healing Touch, by Tim Holmes

The Healing Touch, by Tim Holmes

Ok. Fair warning. I’m going to be talking about things like energy and intention. Silly new- agey stuff that some uber-rational people might not feel comfortable with. That said, I’ll get into it.

When you touch someone, or when you receive touch, you’re not just feeling the physical sensation. You actually feel the energy behind it. When someone touches you with harmful intent or sexual intent, the energy of their intent actually comes across directly. I’m sure you have felt it before. Some touches are reassuring, while others are downright uncomfortable. The physical sensation might be identical, but something in the feeling lets you know what’s behind it.

Every touch conveys a world of meaning. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then a touch is worth a thousand pictures. What we think and feel is transmitted directly to the person we touch. This is huge when it comes to massage, bodywork, or any form of intimacy. Every nuance of your feeling and intention is transferred through contact.

In a world where words are thought to convey the highest level of meaning, we forget the deep communication that comes through touch. The beauty of touch is that it never lies. You can say something you don’t feel, but you can never give a message through touch that you don’t feel. The message is direct, real, and authentic. When you love someone, let this feeling fill your being, and touch them with this energy. They’ll feel it, and that feeling will mean more than anything you can say. When you are trying to reassure a friend, let the feeling of calm come through you first. When you touch them, they’ll receive this calm from your contact.

Touch is beautiful, connecting, healing. Touch can move us past our barriers and wake us up from mind. When you give a hug, your energy circulates with the person you hug. The key is to relax and allow it to flow. Any tension in your body, any thoughts running through your mind, blocks the energetic connection. Give it a try. Next time you give someone a hug, breathe. Relax. Try to feel the hug and be in the body. Just be with the exchange. You may be amazed how deep and fulfilling this kind of hug can be.

Holding hands can be a beautiful and intimate sharing as well. But often it’s done without consciousness. Bring some awareness into it and you might be surprised. Here’s a beautiful exercise to try with your partner:

Sit so that each of you are comfortable and so that you can meet one another’s eyes. Reach out with whichever hand you prefer, and lightly hold your partner’s hand. Let the hands move as they want to move, light strokes, gentle squeezes, allow them to dance. Keep open to the sensations, feel the meaning in each delicate gesture. Sit with this as long as you like. It’s a beautiful exercise, and a gentle introduction into the subtleties of sensation.

Touch is one of the simplest and most direct forms of communication we have. And being conscious of the touch we share can deepen our connection with our own feeling. Open up to touch, and move past the barriers that keep you from sharing it with others, and watch as your relationships transform.

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