Ok. Fair warning. I’m going to be talking about things like energy and intention. Silly new- agey stuff that some uber-rational people might not feel comfortable with. That said, I’ll get into it.
When you touch someone, or when you receive touch, you’re not just feeling the physical sensation. You actually feel the energy behind it. When someone touches you with harmful intent or sexual intent, the energy of their intent actually comes across directly. I’m sure you have felt it before. Some touches are reassuring, while others are downright uncomfortable. The physical sensation might be identical, but something in the feeling lets you know what’s behind it.
Every touch conveys a world of meaning. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then a touch is worth a thousand pictures. What we think and feel is transmitted directly to the person we touch. This is huge when it comes to massage, bodywork, or any form of intimacy. Every nuance of your feeling and intention is transferred through contact.
In a world where words are thought to convey the highest level of meaning, we forget the deep communication that comes through touch. The beauty of touch is that it never lies. You can say something you don’t feel, but you can never give a message through touch that you don’t feel. The message is direct, real, and authentic. When you love someone, let this feeling fill your being, and touch them with this energy. They’ll feel it, and that feeling will mean more than anything you can say. When you are trying to reassure a friend, let the feeling of calm come through you first. When you touch them, they’ll receive this calm from your contact.
Touch is beautiful, connecting, healing. Touch can move us past our barriers and wake us up from mind. When you give a hug, your energy circulates with the person you hug. The key is to relax and allow it to flow. Any tension in your body, any thoughts running through your mind, blocks the energetic connection. Give it a try. Next time you give someone a hug, breathe. Relax. Try to feel the hug and be in the body. Just be with the exchange. You may be amazed how deep and fulfilling this kind of hug can be.
Holding hands can be a beautiful and intimate sharing as well. But often it’s done without consciousness. Bring some awareness into it and you might be surprised. Here’s a beautiful exercise to try with your partner:
Sit so that each of you are comfortable and so that you can meet one another’s eyes. Reach out with whichever hand you prefer, and lightly hold your partner’s hand. Let the hands move as they want to move, light strokes, gentle squeezes, allow them to dance. Keep open to the sensations, feel the meaning in each delicate gesture. Sit with this as long as you like. It’s a beautiful exercise, and a gentle introduction into the subtleties of sensation.
Touch is one of the simplest and most direct forms of communication we have. And being conscious of the touch we share can deepen our connection with our own feeling. Open up to touch, and move past the barriers that keep you from sharing it with others, and watch as your relationships transform.