I’m not a big fan of studies and statistics, but here’s one that caught my attention: it takes, on average and under most circumstances, 5.4 minutes for a man to reach orgasm once he has entered a woman.
Maybe that’s extended by a bit of foreplay and maybe you or your lover have the capacity to stretch things out a bit longer than that, but let’s be real. That’s a bit anticlimactic. (If you’ll pardon the pun.)
The good news is that this doesn’t have to be the case. There’s a simple tip that, with a bit of practice, can allow the lovemaking experience to last hours. By learning a bit about our bodies and the art of lovemaking, sex can become more fulfilling, more pleasurable, and infinitely more satisfying. It’s all about edging.
All too often, our intimate play becomes a headlong rush to orgasm. The excitement hits, the clothes come off, and you’re into it, hot and heavy. And then—bam. It’s done. In many cases leaving one or both of you unsatisfied.
But what would happen if you slowed down? If you let the orgasmic energy build up, bringing it almost to the point where release becomes inevitable… and then stop, hanging in the moment and feeling the energy flow between you? Or allow the sexual energy to build, letting it get really intense, and then slowing down to languor in a soft and sensual rhythm?
Edging is the practice of orgasm control, of building up the orgasm, raising the sensations almost to the peak, and then relaxing away from it. The energy builds up, and then ebbs off—a little bit. Slowly, the sexual energy builds to levels you can’t even imagine if you haven’t tried it. When the orgasm arrives, it’s explosive. I’m talking body-shaking, toe-curling, forget where you are in the massive rush of pleasure explosive.
Edging can help a man to last much longer in the bedroom, help him to slow down and tune in to the subtle signals of his body, to enjoy a succulent lovemaking experience instead of turning the intimate play into a (brief) athletic performance. Men that practice edging find that they can last much longer, have a stronger sex drive, have more control over when they choose to orgasm, and even experience multiple orgasms.
But this isn’t just for men. Women can experience the same deepening of sensual experience and unbelievable heightening of pleasure in exactly the same way. It can deepen the state of arousal, bring in a sense of euphoria, and put you in a state of altered consciousness. Edging is a key element in the practice of tantra, in exploring the orgasmic potential of the entire body and deepening our awareness of sensual pleasure in all aspects of life.
Tantra is an exploration of the sexual energy, learning how to build it, feel it, and channel it through the body. The beautiful thing about the practice of edging is that it leads you straight into this deeper connection with the sexual energies. In building the orgasmic energy, you allow it to spread throughout the body rather than just being confined to the sexual organs. The practice of tantra deepens this experience by connecting with the breath, slowing the breathing down and matching it with your partner. Breathing as one, moving as one, and feeling as one. Allowing the energy to rise and fall together, rather than pushing the experience to orgasm. This takes a bit of practice, but it’s not about mastery. It’s about making every single sensual experience you share with your lover exquisite and unforgettable.
Whether you’re stuck in a sexual rut or having the most unbelievable sex of your life, edging can help to take your lovemaking to new levels. But don’t take my word for it. Try it out yourself. Next time you’re in that intimate space with your lover, tune in. Slow down and let the feeling fill your awareness. Try breathing together, and taking the time to really feel the connection. Bring it up to the edge, and then back down. Breathe the energy up through the body and through the heart. And then allow it to build again, letting the sharing deepen and become more exquisite with each moment.
Blessings and beautiful sexplorations!