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Boost Your Body Image

Jun 102012
 

You’re too fat. You’re too skinny. Your hair is too short or too long. You’re beginning to get wrinkles. You’ve got cellulite. Your hair’s going grey. Your tits are sagging. Your man boobs are swelling. You look like a dag. On and on the ‘What’s Wrong With Me’ list goes.

We all get that feeling of not being good enough, and it’s a message that’s reinforced constantly by the media, and occasionally (if unintentionally) by our family and friends. The endless pressure to look good all the time can be exhausting.

We need to start loving our bodies, whatever shape or form they present themselves in.  When we accept ourselves with unconditional love, we begin to see the world and others through different eyes – and we also begin to feel a little more relaxed about life in general.

One recent client told me she would have been too embarrassed to come for a session with me if she hadn’t lost quite a bit of weight. I was happy for her that she had – but disappointed to hear that her weight was a deciding factor. It doesn’t matter what size you are, we all need touch and love through body contact. So love the body you are in, right now. Tell your body that you love it, right now. Give yourself permission to feel good in the body you have, right now. This body is the only one you have – so give it love, take care of it and enjoy it through exercise, good food and healing modalities like massage, bodywork and dance.

There are no two bodies alike, and as a bodyworker, that makes for a colorful experience when I’m giving a massage! I love being presented with different bodies, and giving the exact same love to every single one. That is the art of acceptance.

So love the body you are in, and it will love you right back.

A Poem about Friendship

Jun 032012
 


FRIENDSHIP
by Trudy Starling
When you feel sad and betrayed
Who can you count on every single day?
When you feel  lost and alone
Who will be there for you in every way?
When you’ve made mistakes and bad decisions
Who can you count on to tell you you’re wrong?
When you feel you can’t go on
Who will be there with a feel-better song?
Look into your heart and you will find
That person you can trust is not far away.
Look deep into yourself, don’t give up,
For if you do, it’s yourself you’ll betray.
When you’re looking for answers
To all your questions and dreams,
There is one person you can count on,
It’s impossible, I know, it seems.
But take a few moments to look deeper inside.
Look into your heart and there you will see.
You’ll be surprised when you find out
That you’ve been looking at ME.

Happiness Tip: Smile at a Stranger

May 222012
 

We should all smile more often, in general. Just the simple act of smiling or laughing can make you happier.

But even better: smile at a stranger. Too often we brush past strangers without a glance, or a straight or scowling face. At best, we might give people a tolerant little smile, to show that we are not mean. Usually most of us try to avoid any eye contact at all.

Try this instead: look strangers in the eye, and give them a genuine smile. In most cases, you’ll get a smile in return. The more you smile, the more smiles you’ll see in return.

End result? A happier world. So simple!

Empty-Handed, Full Hearted

May 072012
 

We often load ourselves up when we travel, because we want to be prepared for various situations. This burden of being prepared leaves us with our arms full, unable to receive whatever is there when we arrive.

It leaves us tired from carrying, so that we are not happy when we meet someone new on our travels.

What if we traveled with empty hands, ready to embrace new experiences, receive new foods, touch new people?

We might feel less prepared when we leave, but the preparedness is an illusion. Stuff doesn’t make us prepared. Having empty hands but a heart that is full of love leaves us prepared for anything.

This doesn’t just apply to taking a trip, but to living each day. Each day is a journey, and we load ourselves up with material possessions, with tasks and projects, with things to read and write, with meetings and calls and texts. Our hands are full, not ready for anything new.

Drop everything, be open to everything.

Enter each day empty-handed, and full-hearted.

How to Meditate Daily

May 012012
 

The habit of meditation is one of the most powerful things I’ve ever learned.

Amazingly, it’s also one of the most simple habits to do — you can do it anywhere, any time, and it will always have immediate benefits.

How many habits can you say that about?

While many people think of meditation as something you might do with a teacher, in a Zen Center, it can be as simple as paying attention to your breath while sitting in your car or on the train, or while sitting at the coffee shop or in your office, or while walking or showering.

It can take just one or two minutes if you’re busy. There’s no excuse for not doing it, when you simplify the meditation habit.

Why Meditate?

Why create a small daily meditation practice? There are countless reasons, but here are some of my favorite:

  • It relieves stress and helps you to relax.
  • When you practice mindfulness, you can carry it out to everyday life.
  • Mindfulness helps you to savor life, change habits, live simply and slowly, be present in everything you do.
  • Meditation has been shown to have mental benefits, such as improved focus, happiness, memory, self-control, academic performance and more.
  • Some research on meditation has indicated that it may have other health benefits, including improved metabolism, heart rate, respiration, blood pressure and more.

Actually, some of the best benefits of meditation are hard to define — you begin to understand yourself better, for example, and form a self-awareness level you’ve never had before.

Most simply, sitting for just a few minutes of meditation is an oasis of calm and relaxation that we rarely find in our lives these days. And that, in itself, is enough.

How to Do It Daily

There are lots and lots of ways to meditate. But our concern is not to find a perfect form of meditation — it’s to form the daily habit of meditation. And so our method will be as simple as possible.

1. Commit to just 2 minutes a day. Start simply if you want the habit to stick. You can do it for 5 minutes if you feel good about it, but all you’re committing to is 2 minutes each day.

2. Pick a time and trigger. Not an exact time of day, but a general time, like morning when you wake up, or during your lunch hour. The trigger should be something you already do regularly, like drink your first cup of coffee, brush your teeth, have lunch, or arrive home from work.

3. Find a quiet spot. Sometimes early morning is best, before others in your house might be awake and making lots of noise. Others might find a spot in a park or on the beach or some other soothing setting. It really doesn’t matter where — as long as you can sit without being bothered for a few minutes. A few people walking by your park bench is fine.

4. Sit comfortably. Don’t fuss too much about how you sit, what you wear, what you sit on, etc. I personally like to sit on a pillow on the floor, with my back leaning against a wall, because I’m very inflexible. Others who can sit cross-legged comfortably might do that instead. Still others can sit on a chair or couch if sitting on the floor is uncomfortable. Zen practitioners often use a zafu, a round cushion filled with kapok or buckwheat. Don’t go out and buy one if you don’t already have one. Any cushion or pillow will do, and some people can sit on a bare floor comfortably.

5. Start with just 2 minutes. This is really important. Most people will think they can meditate for 15-30 minutes, and they can. But this is not a test of how strong you are at staying in meditation — we are trying to form a longer-lasting habit. And to do that, we want to start with just a two minutes. You’ll find it much easier to start this way, and forming a habit with a small start like this is a method much more likely to succeed. You can expand to 5-7 minutes if you can do it for 7 straight days, then 10 minutes if you can do it for 14 straight days, then 15 minutes if you can stick to it for 21 straight days, and 20 if you can do a full month.

6. Focus on your breath. As you breathe in, follow your breath in through your nostrils, then into your throat, then into your lungs and belly. Sit straight, keep your eyes open but looking at the ground and with a soft focus. If you want to close your eyes, that’s fine. As you breathe out, follow your breath out back into the world. If it helps, count … one breath in, two breath out, three breath in, four breath out … when you get to 10, start over. If you lose track, start over. If you find your mind wandering (and you will), just pay attention to your mind wandering, then bring it gently back to your breath. Repeat this process for the few minutes you meditate. You won’t be very good at it at first, most likely, but you’ll get better with practice.

And that’s it. It’s a very simple practice, but you want to do it for 2 minutes, every day, after the same trigger each day. Do this for a month and you’ll have a daily meditation habit.

Expanding Your Practice

Sitting and paying attention to your breath is really mindfulness practice. It’s a way to train yourself to focus your attention. Once you’ve practiced a bit while sitting in a quiet space, you can expand your mindfulness practice:

  • When you feel stress, take a minute to pay attention to your breath, and return your mind to the present moment.
  • Try taking a walk, and instead of thinking about things you need to do later, pay attention to your breath, your body’s sensations, the things around you.
  • When you eat, just eat, and focus your attention on the food, on your feelings as you eat, on the sensations.
  • Try a mindful tea ritual, where you focus your attention on your movements as you prepare the tea, on the tea as you smell and taste it, on your breath as you go through the ritual.
  • Wash your dishes and sweep your floor mindfully.

This, of course, is just a start. There are many ways to practice mindfulness, including with other people, while you work, and so on.

 

 

BREATHE

Apr 282012
 

Breathe.

Breathing can transform your life.

If you feel stressed out and overwhelmed, breathe. It will calm you and release the tensions.

If you are worried about something coming up, or caught up in something that already happened, breathe. It will bring you back to the present.

If you are discouraged and have forgotten your purpose in life, breathe. It will remind you about how precious life is, and that each breath in this life is a gift you need to appreciate. Make the most of this gift.

If you have too many tasks to do, or are scattered during your workday, breathe. It will help bring you into focus, to concentrate on the most important task you need to be focusing on right now.

If you are spending time with someone you love, breathe. It will allow you to be present with that person, rather than thinking about work or other things you need to do.

If you are exercising, breathe. It will help you enjoy the exercise, and therefore stick with it for longer.

If you are moving too fast, breathe. It will remind you to slow down, and enjoy life more.

So breathe. And enjoy each moment of this life. They’re too fleeting and few to waste.

—

Tip: Put the word “Breathe” as a screensaver or desktop pic, or put it up as a note on your wall or fridge or on your desk. Then do it every time you see the word.

Time to Xplore

Apr 232012
 

Over the recent Easter Weekend I got the opportunity to explore my erotic, sensual and sexual self with like-minded people at an event called Xplore.

Xplore allows you to explore different fields of sexuality and subcultures, ranging from latex and rubber to Shibari ropework, BDSM, Tantra, and much more. Oh, and did I mention naked Yoga? What a concept that is!

So what did I do in these three days? Well, I started each day with naked yoga, which was unbelievably great! To get naked and do yoga is such a liberating thing, for both body and mind. And no, nobody was checking anybody else out. We were all totally engrossed in our own practice – at least, when we weren’t engaged in partner poses, which gave us some great leverage!

I was fortunate enough to meet the wonderfully colorful Tokyo, who led the Latex and Rubber workshop. This was an opportunity to explore this material in all its glory.

Next up was something called the Kissing Whip, were we got to experience and explore how to use a whip. I learnt that the whip is an extension of you, of your soul, and your whip becomes a part of you, which you then give to the recipient. We were taught to go very slowly, even just moving the whip gently over the body, ever so slightly. We got to use all kinds of different whips – big ones, little ones, and even real hair whips.

Then there was Exotic Clowning, which encouraged us to bring out our erotic clowns! This was a workshop full of fun and it took me back to my childhood, with the chance to get dressed up and play. I put on a funky orange top and green tights, along with many different hats. We played all kinds of interactive games and this was a workshop that I totally loved.

Money. Isn’t it funny how no one wants to talk about this subject, or about how much they make (or owe!)? This workshop was all about exposing that and more. We took part in role plays that focused on the theme of money, and got to share our most expensive purchase ever, as well as our biggest-earning year. It really made some people very uncomfortable – but it was a fascinating subject to explore.

Then there was the Shibari workshop. Shibari, more correctly known as Kinbaku is an ancient Japanese artistic form of rope bondage that has many styles and uses. We were very fortunate to have Hajime Kinoko, who came all the way from Japan to be with us. He took us through the workshop ‘Shibari for Therapeutic Purposes’, where we were bound very slowly. I loved it. I have actually booked a two-hour private session with him, to experience the feeling of being tied and suspended. More on that after the session.

I took part in many more workshops over the three days, and the after-party was spectacular, too, with many Shibari performances and whipping demonstrations to entertain us. We danced the night away till the early hours – which is a rarity for me these days.

If you feel the need to explore your inner sexuality, why not check out Xplore 2013. Visit the Xplore website at http://sydney.xplore-festival.com and find out more. Come and join us next year, and do something different for the Easter Bunny within!

In love and light,

Taranga

 

Welcome to my very first Blog.

Mar 282012
 

I’m not sure where to start – or how to start, for that matter, but lets give it a go, shall we?

First of all, I should say to everyone who is going to read this that this is my first official blog. That’s right, I have never written a blog before. So I am feeling a little challenged by that. I want it to be right, but I also want it to be honest. I want it to be raw, emotional, challenging, true, open and adventurous. I wish that you get something from it, whether information, details, insights, feelings, reactions, joy or bliss.

Welcome to the new and improved Blissrising website.  It has taken me a long time to get it up and running, and I could not have done it without the help of some very open and insightful people.  They are:

Tim my photographer who is a very relaxed guy. We worked from 6pm till about 11pm at night with my lovely models, and took some rather interesting shots. I thought I was being a total diva, but turns out I was not.  We had a great time, and I think that shines through in the photos on the new site. Don’t forget that you can see more by simply filling out the form on the Membership page.

timrobinsonphotography.com

Next is my very patient web designer, Wally who understood my needs for this website and was never challenged and kept his cool – even after my 20th phone call of the day. He knew exactly what I wanted and just took to the task of making this website everything that I needed, and much more.  He made it simple and streamlined, with a design that bought the website into the light (as the previous website was a little dark).

www.websitenames.com.au

Matt Mostyn, my copy writer, who I could not have done without.  A truly patient man, who had time for me and did the job quickly and professionally. I’m not a master with words, but Matt certainly is.

www.mattmostyn.com

99designs. They did my logo and the whole experience with them was marvelous. They take a brief, and then designers from all around the world compete to design the best logo for you.  It was a fun process and I truly got what I wanted – something simplistic but sensual. I think the blissrising logo really represents that well.

www.99designs.com.au

And to all of my friends for their patience. It’s been a long journey to finally have blissrising up and running. Without my true friends, this could not have been achieved.

Please feel free to explore the new website, find out what I offer, check out the private photo gallery and in due course, my membership site, which will allow visitors to view short videos covering body work, genital massage and sacred touch.

One thing I would love to do is answer any burning questions you may have around touch, massage, sexuality, or anything that comes to mind relating to bodywork. You can do this by emailing me via the contacts page.  If I get an overload of questions, I will pick one for the blog and answer it.

To conclude this, my first ever blog, I wish for you to take a moment to think about your own bliss. What gives you bliss? What could you do right now to reach that state? Think about what it would take to make you feel good, to make your day a little brighter. It doesn’t have to be something huge. Just a little thing could be enough to turn an everyday moment into a blissful moment!

In love and light,

Taranga

Constant Cravings

Oct 112010
 

We’ve been diving deep lately, with recent Bliss blogs focusing on two of the key forces that drive your actions and behaviours – your values and your needs. This week, we’re going to travel further still, into one of the most powerful motivators, especially in the area of sex and relationships – our desires.

Desires are what make the world go round. From sexual desires to the lust for wealth and power, every one of us is driven by desire of some type, and it’s happening all the time. It’s no coincidence that advertising, one of the world’s most powerful industries has been built around this insight. TV ads, billboards, and any one of the estimated 250 advertising messages we’re exposed to every day, nearly always tap into those basic human desires built into all of us.

We construct our lives around our desires – and new desires are forever being born in us. Yet while some of us embrace them, many of us remain in the dark, or fearful of them. And with most religions condemning desire in all its forms, that’s no surprise. Desires are nearly always highly powerful, dangerous, even. They carry an ‘urge’. Unchecked, they can lead to obsession, and to unhealthy pursuits like greed, laziness, envy, and even violence.

Yet our desires, when acted upon consciously and with awareness, can allow us autonomy, individuality and creativity (which are also things organised religions might be fearful of, and wish to discourage us from). Desire motivates us to action. We actually can’t live fully without them.

Desires are elusive, they can easily hide. And because they often show up in our dreams, or our imaginations, we may not be fully hear or understand them. When we fail to realise our desires, or to even ask ourselves what we really want, life can just ‘happen to us’ – but we all have the potential to ‘co-create our lives, using our desires to motivate us into action.

So ask yourself, ‘what do I most desire’ – and if the answers don’t come easily, do this simple exercise to bring them into the light. This exercise can be applied to a particular area of your life (such as your sex life, a potential partner, or your work), or you can think of it as more of a broad gauge of some of the things that float your boat in general. All you need do is take a few minutes out with a pen and paper, and write whatever first comes into your mind when you ask yourself ‘What are my top turn-ons?’. Try not to over think it. It might be as simple as ‘enjoying a beautiful sensual massage’, or ‘digging in the garden and getting my hands dirty’, or ‘devouring a slice of chocolate cake from my favourite bakery’. Whatever it is that you really love to do, whatever makes your mouth water, your knees tremble or your heart quicken, write it down. Wait a week or two, then do it again. Compare your answers, and see if there are any patterns, any clues to the types of desires you experience over time.

Most importantly during this exercise, be aware of which desires feel ‘light’ or empowering, and which feel unhealthy or obsessional. Which do you embrace, and which are you afraid of? Which do you act on, and which do you try to ignore? Don’t judge yourself. This is about creating awareness and bringing desires in all their forms into the light, allowing you to see them, to feel them and to accept them. Realising that, we can be less enslaved by them, and we’re free to express our desires in ways that are healthy and supportive of our journey through life.

Once you combine new awareness of your desires with better understanding of your wants and needs, you’re on the way to all kinds of transformations. A bold claim, you might say – but when our wants, needs and desires reveal themselves to us, we can begin to shape our lives more in alignment with them.

Quite simply, new awareness of our wants, needs and desires creates powerful shifts in attitudes and behaviour, propelling us to new heights of success, contentment and joy in all areas of life.

In love and light,

Taranga

 

Special Needs

Oct 112010
 

Last week’s blog hopefully got you thinking about your values, helping you to understand the bedrock of unique principles that guide you through life. This week, we’re going to look at another set of principles that drives our actions and behaviours, and which can lead to relationship clashes if they’re not aligned – our needs.

Of course, we all share the same basic human needs. They’re things like oxygen, food, water and sleep, the need to feel safe and secure, and to have love and belonging in our lives. Yet beyond this, there are all kinds of ‘sub-needs’ that are as individual as we are.

Our ‘sub-needs’ play a huge influence in how we connect with others, especially within intimate relationships. In figuring out what these are, we can enter into situations and relationships with greater awareness, and hopefully avoid some of the pitfalls and dramas that arise when those needs aren’t met.

So, here are some broad categories designed to get you thinking about where YOU fit in. Knowing your sub-needs will help you to more clearly decide whether they’re being met, and enable you to express them to others when you need to.

Read through each list and decide which of them apply most strongly to you, within either your love relationship, or your friendship or family dynamics (where applicable!). Try and be selective and choose the top three that feel like your most important needs. It can even be useful to adapt them and make them more personal to you, writing them down as you go.

Need 1: Safety

Common sub-needs here include:

– The need to feel secure

– The need to feel connected

– The need to feel comfortable

– The need to feel peaceful

– The need to have support during hard times

– The need to feel cared for

– The need to spend time together

Need 2: Acceptance

Common sub-needs here include:

– The need to feel valued and appreciated

– The need to receive physical affection

– The need to be heard

– The need to feel understood

– The need to feel desired

– The need to feel respected

– The need to be openly vulnerable

– The need to feel strong

Need 3: Belonging

Common sub-needs here include:

– The need to enjoy shared interests

– The need to share daily life

– The need to be totally present and in the moment with another

– The need for spiritual awareness

– The need for loyalty

– The need for trust

– The need for strong communication

– The need for playfulness, laughter and joy

Need 4: Space

Common sub-needs here include:

– The need to preserve my own identity

– The need to space outside the relationship

– The need for privacy

– The need for clear boundaries

– The need to nurture individual interests

– The need for my own friendships

Need 5: Influence

Common sub-needs here include:

– The need to feel useful

– The need to feel like I matter

– The need to feel like I make a difference

– The need to help other heal

– The need to care for others

– The need to motivate others

– The need to help others change and grow

– The need to help others through hard times

– The need to create safety for others

– The need to create comfort for others

Need 6: Love

Common sub-needs here include:

– The need for touch, hugs and affection

– The need for sex, play and pleasure

– The need to give or receive unconditional love

– The need to have or surrender control

– The need to feel passionate

– The need for kindness and caring

– The need for emotional intimacy

This exercise can be a valuable tool for relationship maintenance, as you discuss with a partner, friend or family member what drives you, and work out where there’s room for improvement, compromise or greater understanding of what makes each other tick.

It’s worth spending time on, because when we have greater awareness of the needs that often subconsciously drive us, we can more clearly express and be guided by them – leading to happier, healthier, more meaningful relationships all round.

In love and light,

Taranga

http://www.theinnocents.org/

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