Articles - Part 4

Learning Your Lover's Language

Jun 012016

learning-your-lovers-language We all speak different languages. Even when we speak the same language.

“I’m good,” might, for one person, mean that they really are good right now. Happy, satisfied, enjoying life. For another person, it might mean that they really aren’t good. We’ve all had moments where we’ve taken things the wrong way, or just didn’t hear what the other person was saying. We all see things in our own unique way, and unless we take the other person’s language into account, misunderstanding and confusion drift in.

One of the most helpful things we can do in any relationship is learn the language of the person we’re communicating with. This is even more important in intimate relationships. Even in love, we all speak a different language. This might seem a bit bewildering at first, but the good news is that there are five basic love languages. Just by knowing how your lover shows their love (and how they receive it) can bring a new level of depth to the relationship. Here they are:

1. Words of Affirmation

It’s always nice to receive a sincere compliment. But for some of us, it’s essential to know that we’re loved. Words of affirmation are verbal compliments or spoken appreciation. Direct acknowledgement. Letting your sweetheart know they look good, that they’ve done well, or that you really value them. The most important thing is that the words are real. They have to be felt and meant. Your lover might know you love and appreciate them, but sometimes saying it out loud can make all the difference.

2. Acts of Service

“You say you love me, but you never take out the trash or do the dishes.” I’m betting that there are a few of you out there that have heard or said something like this before. Even in less domestic situations, we sometimes need to be shown love in more tangible ways than words. An act of service is personal; it means doing something you know your lover needs or appreciates. It can be something as simple as cooking a meal or doing something that needs to be done around the house. Doing something meaningful for your lover shows depth of care and a willingness to act upon it.

3. Gifts

Some gifts are almost iconic as gestures of love. Just think of flowers, chocolates, and jewellery. But the gift doesn’t have to be expensive or take any particular form. Just like acts of service, gifts are best when they are personal, showing that you have taken the time to find out what your lover likes. And even when the gift is just a token, it’s still a little something that says, “I was thinking about you.” It extends beyond the physical gift into the time it takes to pick it up, and the opportunity to present it to your loved one. Not everyone is a gift-giver or a gift receiver, but for those who are, it speaks louder than words.

4. Quality Time

This is a big one in our hectic modern world. We all have more than a few demands on our time, and it fast becomes a precious commodity. But for some of us, nothing else means as much as being able to spend some time with our lover. And this means being present, mentally as well as physically. Giving the gift of attention and sharing the moment. A shared activity, a walk together, even a quiet meal without interruption can be enough to show your love. The key is to really be there, taking time aside from all the distractions of life to send time together.

5. Physical Touch

Touch is powerful. Healing. It communicates on a level that’s deeper than any other. This is one of the first ways that we learn to receive love, and it remains a strong symbol for our whole lives. For some of us, it’s the pinnacle of real expression. Intimacy, holding hands, kissing, the reassuring touch, or the gentle massage after a hard day. Touch comes in a thousand forms, and each has its own unique message. Sexual connection is part of this, but even a small touch can show tenderness and care. A light touch as you pass one another, or a brief kiss before parting can speak volumes. Touch doesn’t require much time or effort, but it does take a bit of thought, especially if it’s not your primary language of love. The key is that your feeling is passed along with the contact. Even brushing your fingertips lightly over your lover can have a world of meaning.

You’re probably already noticing that a few languages that speak louder for you than others. And, if you’ve been paying attention, you’ll be seeing some that speak louder to your lover as well. It’s beautiful to know how to speak your lover’s language, and give your love in the way they know how to receive it. And we sometimes have different languages for the giving and receiving. Keep this in mind, and it will help you to hear your love when they’re speaking a different language as well. Sharing on this level is deep, powerful, and one of the most fulfilling things we can do. It deepens our connection and gives new opportunities to express ourselves, to hear our lover and really be heard in return.

Exploring Desire – The Inner Compass to Fulfilment

May 022016

exploring-desire-the-inner-compass-to-fulfilment What do you want? Not just the desire of the moment. I mean deep, underneath it all, what do you truly desire? What things turn you on, make your knees weak, and fill you up with life?

For many of us, these can be really challenging questions. Desire is an inescapable aspect of life, but we are not encouraged to explore this part of our nature. Through the medium of our wants and desires, we get clear messages about our needs. Our deepest selves communicate values, unfulfilled wishes and areas where our lives are lacking. But the very power of desire can make it dangerous. It carries energy, urges us to take action to fulfill those wants. When we are unconscious of our own desires, when we refuse to face them, then we are at the mercy of forces that are truly beyond our control.

The advertisement industry is aware of this. We are surrounded every day by an average of 250 messages that play on our desires, urging us to take action, sending unconscious messages that our needs will be fulfilled with this car, that shampoo, or the next brand of make-up. Religions are aware of the power of desire as well. They take the opposite approach to that of advertising, attempting to suppress this powerful force of nature, condemning desire as evil or immoral. Both forces recognise that desire makes the world go round, providing the energy that drives us, forming the foundation of our motivations.

Desire is the energy that shapes and forms our lives, and new desires are constantly being born within us. Some few of us step in to embrace our desires, while most try to suppress, ignore, or redirect them. This is no surprise, with our society teaching us that many of our desires are selfish or even immoral. Religion thwarts our nature, condemning desire in all forms. But this is an unhealthy denial of our impulses. It creates a disconnect from our inner compass, the aspect of ourselves that is tuned in to our real needs and values. Of course, desires are powerful. They carry within them an “urge,” a drive to take action. Without moderation and from an unconscious place, our desires can lead us into obsession, or even into unhealthy behaviour patterns, places of greed, laziness, envy, and even violence.

That’s only half of the picture, though. We are hard-wired to want, and to take action towards the things we want. Suppressing our desires only causes them to surface in ways that run counter to our healthy needs. But facing our desires consciously and acting upon them with awareness helps us to understand and fulfill our needs. What’s more, it helps us to tap into our passion, our individuality, creativity, our own unique approach to life and connection. Desire motivates us to action; without it, we aren’t fully alive.

We can run from our desires and needs, but we cannot escape them. And they can be elusive, too. They may hide from our conscious awareness, but they’ll still show up in dreams or thoughts that pass unbidden through our minds. The consequence of leaving our desires in the dark is a feeling of powerlessness, a sense that life is just “happening to us.” Asking ourselves what we truly want is the first step to moving forward to collaboration with the world, co-creation with the universe rather than a simple acceptance of external forces.

So, it’s time to ask yourself, “What do you really want?” If the question gives you a bit of trouble, here’s an exercise to clarify your desires and bring them into the light:

Just take a few minutes with a pen and piece of paper, and pose yourself the question. Ask yourself what you want, and write down anything that comes to mind. There’s nothing too big or too small. You can make the exercise broad, covering the whole scope of what you want out of life, or focus it in on a particular area, your sex life, work, potential partner, any area you can think of. Try not to over think it, just let it come and write it down. You may come up with things as simple as engaging in a hobby, spending time in nature, or getting your hands dirty in the garden. It might be a bit less tangible, like time spent travelling or meaningful communication with a partner.

Write whatever comes without censoring it. Whatever fills you up, warms your heart, makes your mouth water, or gets your knees trembling. Whatever you really love to do. Wait a week or two, and then do it again. You might find that the answers aren’t quite the same. New desires may arise in that time, and old ones may fade. You may wish to do this a few times, then compare your answers. Look for the patterns, the things that come up each time, or the general trends. This will give you some clues to the types of desires you experience over time.

Another thing: watch how you feel as you write your desires, as you read them afterwards. Which of them feel light and empowering? Which ones feel heavy, unhealthy, or obsessional? Which ones do you embrace, and which do you run from? Which ones do you allow yourself to act upon, and which do you ignore? Try not to judge yourself. Every desire you have is there for a reason. This exercise helps to create awareness, to bring your desire nature into the light so that it can be addressed consciously. It’s about seeing, feeling, and accepting all parts of yourself. This doesn’t mean that you have to act on everything that comes up. Actually, showing yourself those parts that you judge or keep hidden, bringing them into the light of your awareness, actually helps the unhealthy patterns to dissolve or to be addressed in healthy ways.

By becoming aware of our desires, we move past a life governed by unconscious urges and impulses. A greater understanding of self helps to release us from the enslavement of our shadow side. And since each impulse we have is a part of our framework of needs, bringing these parts of ourselves into our awareness is a key to deep healing and transformation. This awareness helps us to express and act upon our needs in ways that are healthy and supportive of our journey through life. When our needs, wants, and desires are revealed to us, we can finally begin to shape our lives in alignment with them.

Put simply, getting to know ourselves on this level, tuning it to our needs and desires, creates a powerful shift in our attitudes and behaviour. This one simple step can pave the way to reach new levels of success, joy, and fulfillment in all aspects of our life.

Your Imperfections Make You Beautiful

Mar 302016

your-imperfections-make-you-beautiful

Ok. All you people with the perfect body, teeth, hair, everybody who’s absolutely perfect in every way, raise your hands. Hmm… Room got a bit quiet on that one. Let’s face it. We all have things about ourselves that we’re critical about. There’s always room to improve our physique, our image, our dental work, or our pay cheque. It’s easier for most of us, when we look in the mirror, to focus on the things we don’t accept than the things that we’re comfortable with. And we figure that others will be just as critical of us as we are of ourselves. But the truth is, it’s our imperfections that make us who we are. They make us beautiful.

Who doesn’t want to be comfortable in their own bodies? And how many of us truly are? We might believe that as soon as we get in shape, as soon as we get the raise, the better job, the next surgery, the diet that finally works, then we can feel comfortable with ourselves. And then others will accept us. But it doesn’t really work that way. The most powerful thing we can do to gain acceptance from others is to start accepting ourselves. You are beautiful. Exactly as you are. You think you’re too fat? Too skinny? Not enough here or too much there? You think your hair should be curly when it’s straight, straight when it’s curly? Blondes have more fun? Brunettes are taken more seriously? These are all just stories that we tell ourselves. And they have no more power over our lives than we give them.

Sometimes people will tell me that they can’t come for a massage until they’ve lost weight. Because they don’t feel good about themselves. The truth is that touch is healing. Receiving a massage helps you to feel better about yourself. And once you do, you have so much more energy to do other things in your life that strengthen the energy of self-acceptance and confidence. Accept yourself. Let yourself be exactly as you are, and see how beautiful you are right now.

The same goes for other ways that we feel we fall short of perfection. Many women who have experienced mastectomies deprive themselves of the beauty and healing power of touch because they feel incomplete or because they judge their own bodies. To you especially, I want to remind you to love and accept yourself. Massage can be especially healing in these cases, because it helps our esteem and self-respect to return. Naturally, just by sharing human contact.

The same goes for relationships. Who out there wants a perfect, airbrushed partner? Cookie-cutter smile, magazine body? We truly crave someone real. Someone that we can interact sincerely and authentically with. None of us is perfect, and if we look at the idea of perfection, none of us would really want to be. Our flaws make us unique, distinct, and individual. Our little imperfections make us the beautiful people we are. And the more you can accept, love, and respect yourself, the more you’ll receive acceptance, love, and respect from others. Open up—see your own beauty, and allow others to see it as well.

Touch Tells it All

Mar 012016

The Healing Touch, by Tim Holmes

Ok. Fair warning. I’m going to be talking about things like energy and intention. Silly new- agey stuff that some uber-rational people might not feel comfortable with. That said, I’ll get into it.

When you touch someone, or when you receive touch, you’re not just feeling the physical sensation. You actually feel the energy behind it. When someone touches you with harmful intent or sexual intent, the energy of their intent actually comes across directly. I’m sure you have felt it before. Some touches are reassuring, while others are downright uncomfortable. The physical sensation might be identical, but something in the feeling lets you know what’s behind it.

Every touch conveys a world of meaning. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then a touch is worth a thousand pictures. What we think and feel is transmitted directly to the person we touch. This is huge when it comes to massage, bodywork, or any form of intimacy. Every nuance of your feeling and intention is transferred through contact.

In a world where words are thought to convey the highest level of meaning, we forget the deep communication that comes through touch. The beauty of touch is that it never lies. You can say something you don’t feel, but you can never give a message through touch that you don’t feel. The message is direct, real, and authentic. When you love someone, let this feeling fill your being, and touch them with this energy. They’ll feel it, and that feeling will mean more than anything you can say. When you are trying to reassure a friend, let the feeling of calm come through you first. When you touch them, they’ll receive this calm from your contact.

Touch is beautiful, connecting, healing. Touch can move us past our barriers and wake us up from mind. When you give a hug, your energy circulates with the person you hug. The key is to relax and allow it to flow. Any tension in your body, any thoughts running through your mind, blocks the energetic connection. Give it a try. Next time you give someone a hug, breathe. Relax. Try to feel the hug and be in the body. Just be with the exchange. You may be amazed how deep and fulfilling this kind of hug can be.

Holding hands can be a beautiful and intimate sharing as well. But often it’s done without consciousness. Bring some awareness into it and you might be surprised. Here’s a beautiful exercise to try with your partner:

Sit so that each of you are comfortable and so that you can meet one another’s eyes. Reach out with whichever hand you prefer, and lightly hold your partner’s hand. Let the hands move as they want to move, light strokes, gentle squeezes, allow them to dance. Keep open to the sensations, feel the meaning in each delicate gesture. Sit with this as long as you like. It’s a beautiful exercise, and a gentle introduction into the subtleties of sensation.

Touch is one of the simplest and most direct forms of communication we have. And being conscious of the touch we share can deepen our connection with our own feeling. Open up to touch, and move past the barriers that keep you from sharing it with others, and watch as your relationships transform.

Sensual Massage 101: The Five Forms of Touch

Feb 012016

Detail from Félicien Rops – Le massage

Let’s be real: everyone can benefit from a sensual massage. It’s a beautiful way to connect with your lover, spark up the sexual energy, and show how much you care. Touch is one of the most powerful forms of interaction, healing on the deepest levels, and intimate beyond words. And the key to giving a really beautiful sensual massage is being present, tuning in to your partner’s desires and letting in spontaneity. You don’t need to worry about planning out the details, but there are a few tips that help to give your lover luscious sensations. So, first lesson: the five strokes you need to give an unforgettable sensual massage.

Gliding

The first key to gliding is touching your lover with the center of your palm. Allow the fingers to curve around naturally, then glide the palm down the body, trailing the fingers evenly behind. You can try this out on yourself first to get the idea. Just place your hand on the back of your forearm, palm first, and let the fingers curve around the arm. Then slowly pull the palm up the arm towards the shoulder. Keep the hand relaxed and go slowly. You can glide all the way from your lover’s shoulder to the toes and back with one long stroke. The keys are to keep the hand relaxed and to maintain contact through the whole stroke. And remember, go slowly to keep it sensual and connected.

Kneading

Kneading is a great supplement to the gliding stroke. Just press with the palm and allow the fingers to follow, so that you are using the whole hand to squeeze and pull the muscle. Depending on the pressure, this can feel delicate and relaxing or deep and invigorating. Remember that touch transmits your intention more effectively than word, so keep present during each stroke.

Vibration

Vibration is a great stroke to relax the muscles. Just place the palm down onto your lover’s body and allow the fingers to relax. Create the vibration with alternating side-to-side motions. This stroke can feel amazing on the buttocks and thighs. Play around and see how it feels. Vibration can really free up the energy and bring out some giggles.

Brush Strokes

Ok, this one uses the fingertips, but remember to keep the fingers relaxed and trail them along the body softly. This is an amazing touch to heighten anticipation and sensation. You can use circular strokes or go back and forth, or even trace your way around your lover’s body. Slowly and softly are the keys to making the brush strokes delightful and exciting.

Stillness

Your hands don’t have to be moving all of the time. In fact, a beautiful way to begin and end each session is to place your hands on your lover and make gentle, firm contact as you match their breathing. This is a beautiful way to establish presence and connection with your partner, helping them go deeper into their pleasure.

From Disconnection to Re-connection

Jan 052016

middle-aged man using a smart mobile phone

When was the last time you went out to eat? If your experience was anything like mine, you might have seen more people on their phones than actually talking to one another. With all of the marvelous technology at our fingertips today, we are also losing the sense of connection to one another. The art of interpersonal relationships is in danger of becoming extinct.

And it’s not just at the restaurant or cafe. Often a nice dinner at home is interrupted by texts and calls, or even worse, the evening meal is just a background activity that accompanies the latest television show. You can see it when you’re walking down the street or on the morning commute. Step into a train, and you see everyone there with headphones on, checking out their messages, email, texts or playing a game until they arrive at their destination. It’s more and more common to be plugged into our device’s, rather than being present to the world around us. This is a sad situation, but there is still hope.

The first step is awareness. Take some time to remember that the world is full of beauty. Look around. You might miss the things that matter most if you don’t put the phone down from time to time. More than that, real human connection is one of the most beautiful things in the world. It’s what makes our lives worth living. If we become aware of the marvelous world we miss each time we plug in, we can stop and reconsider our actions.

Another way is to involve the other person in the decision making. Say you’re at the café and your phone rings. It’s really simple to ask the person you’re sitting with, “do you mind if I answer my phone?” It lets them know you value their company and their preferences. A tiny gesture of respect can work wonders. If you want to take an extra step, you could leave the phone in your bag while catching up with your friend. All those messages might be able to wait until you finish your time together. I certainly know that my time spent with friends is far more important than my messages and emails.

How about this one? Just try to meet the eyes of the people you pass on the street. You may find this a bit challenging at first, but it can be amazingly empowering. Maybe even say hello. You don’t need permission to give a greeting to the people you run across, and it can lead to some truly meaningful interaction. Even if it’s nothing more than a smile, you have touched the other person’s life in a way that could make their day, bring them out of the dumps and lift their spirits.

These are some simple ways to reconnect with the world and with one another. We need to stop looking down at our technology and look up at the beautiful world around us. Go on, give it a try and see how it feels. You might find that you really enjoy interacting with your friends and loved ones. And you may find stunning beauty in the walk down the road.

Blessings and happy connections to each of you.

From Surrender to Success

Dec 032015

iStock_000078618173_Small This year has been massive for me, and for many of us. I’ve been forced to make changes and grow in ways I didn’t expect, and the results have been amazing. I think we all have those moments where we’re afraid to take that next step. It’s easy to stick with what’s familiar and comfortable. But this year has shown me all over again how beautiful it is to open up to something new.

For the past five years, I’d been living in a studio apartment. There were many happy memories there and it served my needs well, but it was fear that kept me there for so long. I was stuck, scared of moving out, afraid of making the change, finding a new place and mostly, afraid of paying more rent. I finally made the change and now that I have, I realise that the fear was a bit silly. I now have an apartment with a lounge room that could house my previous studio. Plus an amazing new flatmate, and a whole new energy of possibility and expansiveness.

My business has been undergoing huge changes as well. I decided to let go of a venture that I’d been collaborating on for some time. I held on to it past the time that it was serving me. I came to realise that it wasn’t about failure or defeat. I was able to let go because I saw that it wasn’t serving me anymore. When one door closes, another opens. Surrendering that project was one of the most empowering things that I could have done. Having the ability to let go without seeing it as defeat gave me freedom and power on a whole new level.

I couldn’t see it at the time, but the world was pushing me to free up my energy so that I could start off something new and beautiful, something that I’m passionate and inspired about right now. I‘m being pushed along by the flow of life instead of swimming against the current. Next year will see the beginning of my exciting new business as a waxing queen specialising in Brazilian waxing plus more. I’ll be sharing more about that with you in the coming months. As soon as I let go of what wasn’t serving me, things began to flow smoothly. Opportunities started to drop in effortlessly.

I want to give a special thanks to my supporting team: Kelly, Israel, Laura, Tim, and Jaeleen. Without you, Bondassagebliss and Blissrising wouldn’t be the spectacular ventures they are. No one can do it all alone and no one needs to. By opening up to your support, I have been able to reach new heights. A heartfelt thanks to each of you.

I have shared a bit of my story through the year, because it seems like we’re all undergoing some pretty massive shifts. And this time has been a beautiful expansion for me, with some deep lessons learned. So, to bring you into the new year I have 5 realisations that I would like to share:

1: Life is not in your phones, so look up at the world, be present in the moment.
2: Let go of what is not serving you right now and allow for what does in your life.
3: Be kind to yourself, take care of your body, eat well, exercise and practice mindfulness.
4: Do that course that you have been putting off, learn a new craft, explore and have FUN.
5: Love your friends, hug them, and let them know that you are there for them. They will be
there for you.

On that note, I would like to say Happy Silly Season! Take care if you are traveling, and I look forward to the New Year Celebrations. Happy Expansions into the New Year.

Depression and the Healing Power of Touch

Nov 012015

Depression is a serious problem in our society, and it often goes unnoticed until it has reached a breaking point. We feel like we have to put on a brave and happy face, covering our true feelings with a mask until we can’t bear it anymore.

Have you ever had a period in your life when it just all seemed a bit too much and you can’t think of a reason to keep going? Each of us is challenged at some point in our lives, and the presence of loved ones and friends can make all the difference. The best way to show someone you are really there for them is by touch.

We can forget the importance of human contact in this fast-paced, technologically oriented world. But we need touch, connection, and real contact in these times more than ever before. It’s amazing to think that something as simple as touch can make the difference in times of depression and despair, but it can be the turning point. Something as simple as a nice hug can bring us back. All forms of touch can be incredibly healing. Real contact reminds us of our connection with the world. It can pull us out of the malaise of isolation and let us know someone cares.

Touch is the most basic and natural form of sharing we have. And we are hardwired to respond to it. Our bodies respond and our biochemistry changes when we experience contact. It doesn’t even have to be human contact. Stroking a cat or having cuddle time with a dog can fulfill a need so basic we aren’t even aware of it. Regular human contact can be healing on an even deeper level, helping us to be comfortable with ourselves and to feel loved.

So let’s bring touch back into our lives. Let’s take off the masks and be real about our feelings, sharing when we have something coming up or when we need reassurance. Depression is nothing to be ashamed of, and touch is something we all need. If we start connecting the dots, we can see how to make a positive change in one another’s lives simply by being who we are and by sharing what we all have to offer- the gift of real contact.

Go on, give it a go. Be bold and give someone a hug today. There’s nothing shameful about connecting with one another on a real and physical level. After all, we’re all in this game of life together. No one is an island. We need one another to feel alive and to give our lives meaning. It’s easy and fun.

So, if you’d like to take a simple step towards a brighter happier world, touch someone you care about every day. Let them know you love them without having to say a word. Open to receiving touch in your own life and see how much of a difference it makes. Let a little connection into your life.

The Essential Hen’s Night

Sep 022015

The Hen’s Night is one of the biggest nights of a woman’s life, but for the organiser it can bring on a cold sweat and an immediate panic attack! You want to treat your Best Friend, sister etc the to an evening she will remember and never forget, but you need to avoid cliché and come up with something out of the box that hasn’t been done a hundred times before.

TouchOfTantra

While the Hen’s night can be great fun for everyone, for the organiser getting it right can be a stressful event! You’re set on avoiding the overdone night on the town, forcing the Hen to run around in a tiara -you know the deal – a short lived adrenaline rush that leaves you with nothing more than a hangover, an internal groan as memories come flooding back

With this in mind it is perhaps wise to review how Hen’s Nights came to be and consider alternatives to the big night out.

Hen’s Night History
The Hen’s Night dates as far back as ancient Greece and much more than a big night running around the Acropolis squealing at the sight of oiled up Greek gods removing an item of clothing or two, its origins are steeped in education. Ancient Greek women gathered to guide the bride to be into married life with wisdom and advice, talked about the wedding night and shared stories, and no doubt a few tips and techniques on how to keep her husband happy in all respects.

The Needs of the Modern Hen
Fast forward over 4,000 years to modern Sydney, where the bride to be has the freedom to go out whenever she wants and becoming a wife no longer signifies the end of her freedom and we are left with the essential element of education.

How can we do justice to the time honoured tradition of the Hen’s Night in the modern era and provide a fun, memorable event to remember that combines a little learning for the Hen to take into the marriage that will support her for years to come?

While it would be rare to find a blushing, virginal bride in a bustling Australian city these days, the truth is that our sex education, in terms of creating intimacy and embracing sensuality and techniques that will allow a woman to embody her feminine power, often fall far short of what we need to sustain satisfaction in our long term relationships.

A modern twist on the ancient tradition of educating the bride can be found in providing her with the knowledge and skills to perform a sensual and erotic massage on her man on their wedding night that will have him hooked from day one.

Enter Lingam Massage – an ancient Tantric technique designed specifically for men. In Tantra the penis is referred to as Lingam, which means “wand of light” in Sanskrit.

A Hen’s Night Party provides the perfect solution to the modern dilemma of how to organise a great Hen’s Night, incorporating some essential education, that your Hen friend (and her man) will thank you for time and time again!

The Hen will be learning how to locate her man’s erogenous zones and how to perform a mind-blowingly good Lingam Massage using stimulating strokes and tantric techniques. Just add friends and a glass of champagne or two and you are guaranteed a night of fun and laughter, where some very special memories are made!

In Good Hands

May 182015

Massage Our hands are incredibly complex and precise instruments – and for massage therapists and bodyworkers in particular, the hands are fine-tuned over many years of repetitive use, to become highly effective instruments for healing and transformation.

A helping hand
Whether it’s an extremely gifted practitioner, or just a loving partner giving us a back-rub, there’s a feeling that comes over us when we’re being touched and cared for. It’s a warm glow that washes over us, and a particular type of ‘vibration’ that helps us to relax, let go and feel nurtured. The hands play a powerful role in this, being the point of contact at which energy and focus is transferred from the masseur into the body of whoever they’re working on.

Many traditional cultures have recognised that gentle touch is incredibly soothing to those who are tired, stressed or unwell. Our skin is our largest organ, containing millions of receptors that send messages along our nerves to our brains – and gentle touch has been been proven beyond all doubt to lower the heart rate, blood pressure and stress levels. Touch works on all kinds of levels, releasing powerful endorphins, the body’s own feel-good chemicals, helping us to heal physical aches and emotional scars, and reducing stress, the body’s main source of disease.

To the matter at hand
Many of us overlook the innate power that lies within our fingertips. Our hands have their own ‘intelligence’ – and when we let the world go quiet, and connect with full focus and awareness, we’re able to truly tune in and benefit the health of whoever we’re touching.

We all have the innate ability to tap into an unlimited source of healing energy and direct it through our hands towards helping others – yet most of us unknowingly block the flow of this power, and live our lives never fully experiencing its full potential. Yet it’s easier than you think to raise your awareness – so here’s an exercise to help you develop your abilities, and turn your hands into magical instruments of transformation worthy of a comic-book superhero!

A hands-on experiment

Place your hands gently on the shoulders, or over the heart or belly of your
willing subject.
Calm your thoughts, make sure you’re 100% present and begin to breathe
deeply into your belly.
Set your intention, by stating in your mind what you want to achieve –
whether it’s something really specific, or simply to nourish and heal. Most
importantly, fill your heart with love and compassion for whoever you’re
working on.
Visualise an endless ‘ocean’ of white light above your head – and with each
inhale, imagine pulling a beam of light from this ocean into your body, through
the crown of your head and down into your heart. With every exhale, send this
light out along your arms and hands, into the body of your partner.
As time passes, you may find that your hands begin to warm up, or even
tingle. Stay here for some time, breathing and visualising all the while, and
letting energy flow through you until you feel like it’s time to gently remove
your hands. Allow your partner to rest here for a while before they open their
eyes.

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